10. If your couch doesn’t have a giant imprint of you in it, you’re probably doing it wrong.
Catching up on the latest season of Game of Thrones are all good excuses for you to not leave your bed or couch, thus eliminating the need for any kind of exercise. Bonus points if you finish a series in less than two days.
9. When at the gym, ALWAYS choose the elliptical machine over the treadmill.
It will do most of the work for you, while giving off the impression that you’re actually running. Nice try, Dad. Bonus points if you bring a towel.
8. Fried NOT grilled
What, are you kidding? This should be a no brainer. Bonus points if you douse your fries, burgers, pastas and wings with much more sauce, ketchup, and salt than is needed.
7. You must have a snack drawer in your bed stand
Because sometimes you just get hungry in the middle of the night. We know how hard it is to resist those late night temptations and trips to the refrigerator. Don’t give in. Bonus points if you steal your girlfriend’s Nutella.
6. Popsicles.. lots of popsicles
If your freezer isn’t stockpiled with goodies like popsicles, ice cream sandwiches and other assorted desserts; make sure you acquire a large collection soon. That or invest in an abundance of popcorn. Popcorn also does the trick.
5. Khakis and Hawaiian print shirts
Okay, the second half isn’t exactly a requirement, but Hawaiian print shirts go a long way in enhancing the dad bod physique. Anything bright, something like a performance golf shirt, will do. Khakis complete the outfit.
If you can’t jog for more than a few blocks without needing a rest period, then you’re doing the dad bod right. Bonus points if you wear all Champion sweats. Even more if you rock a headband.
3. Start the day with fast food breakfast
If you can recite the entire breakfast lineup at McDonald’s, but can’t remember that you were supposed to help your son with his science project today, then you’ve achieved a heightened level of dad bod.
2. Eat enormous amounts of candy
If it’s you, rather than your kids, who can’t pry your hands away from the cookie dough bites, then you’re well on your way to dad bod immortality.
Light, domestic, bottled or on tap; a good brew is the backbone of any good dad bod diet. A bonus point for every beer you can shotgun.